Monday, December 29, 2008

Merry Kiss My Ass!

Merry Christmas to one and all! I don't know about you but I gained a solid 10 pounds over Christmas (fuck), hence the title. I love Christmas, really I do, I just love Christmas a little too much if you catch my drift. Shortbread...mmmm, turkey...mmmm, gravy....mmmm, buttertarts....mmmm, eggnog....mmmm. You get the picture. Not to mention the fact that I probably drank some beer or wine every day between Dec 19 and now. Yikes. Me pants are a wee tight. I busted a zipper out of one pair or jeans. It flew about mach 1 - damned good thing there wasn't a cat in the way, is all I'm saying. Must have been a faulty zipper - what? a girl can dream, can't she? I got a pretty kick ass present for Christmas too. A 32" Sony plasma for the bedroom. Not entirely sure if it wasn't a "shelfish" gift on Mike's part, but what the hell. I wasn't expecting anything at all, so it is all gravy. MMMM Gravy. Where was I? Oh yes. I also got Mike a "selfish" gift as well. Mike is now the proud owner of a brand new electric razor. He was getting a tad lazy in the old shaving department (alas the honeymoon phase has worn off). The kids were totally spoiled too. Mom and Dad come up from Kelowna and instead of shoveling snow, they froze their asses off. Our furnace doesn't quite keep up during -30 weather, so needless to say we sat around downstairs (the warmest room in the house) under blankets with sweaters and slippers on. Brrr. We are headed up to the ski hill on the 1st for a couple of nights. I damned well better still fit in my ski pants or I'm going to be in big trouble. Merry Kiss My Ass, indeed!

Monday, October 20, 2008

So Where Was I???

I'm happy to see some people still check up on my lazy ass! I'm not making any promises, mind you, but I'm all settled in and relatively back to normal now (ha! I'm normal - now THAT's a good one!). We spent the month of August just moving in. We're still not completely moved. This should go on record as the longest move in the history of, well? moves! Our first night we slept in the new house was the weekend after the august long weekend (I'm totally too lazy to go and find a calendar to get the date for you) and we just moved the living room furniture over on Oct 11th. We don't like to rush into things at our house. Slow and steady wins the race, I always say!

So that is pretty much all I remember about August. Oh! My sister's visit was great and we can't wait for her to come back again. Also! we got two cats. A momma and a baby that we *thought* was a girl. Not so much. So now instead on Mia and Amber we now have a Mia and an Oliver. We love them. Furry little buggers! These are my kid's first pets! Very sad fact considering they are 15 and 13! Like I said. We take things slow around these parts!

September? Well lets just say September sucked ass. So much ass. Although, most of the suck fest also had a positive side as well. Mike left for the bush in early September to start his guiding season. He was gone from home from Sept 2 - Oct 9th. I once again helped expedite for him. Adding another full time job onto the one I already had! I'm much too lazy to have two jobs. It totally stresses me out. The upside was that we hired an awesome lady to help me with the expediting and I found a new friend in the process. You ROCK Lynn!

The next shitty thing that happened in September was that my friend Cindy Myers passed away from inflammatory breast cancer. She was diagnosed in January and passed in September. So very fast. She was a single mom to two beautiful teenagers. She was only 37. You just can't get more unfair than that. Remarkably, there happened to be an upside of this sad event as well. I was able to reconnect the old and dear friends that I hope I can do a better job of staying in touch with than I did before. I'm really bad a that. Actually its all about the lazy!

Then, to top off all the other shitty, my Grandma Ida went and died on us. So unexpected. Yes, she was 87 and yes she had been experience some health issues as of late, but damn! We were totally unprepared for it. Grandma was a remarkable woman who lived life large - went to the gym, had a boyfriend, and enjoyed her wine right up until the day she died. She was in better shape than most of the people I know and she had more energy than this lazy ass could stand. It is a blessing she didn't suffer. She had a massive stroke in her sleep and never woke up again. Really? Can anyone ask for a better exit than that? The upside to this one? I was able to see family and dear friends that I haven't seen in years. Although, I would take my Grandma over my visit any day.

Now October? October is looking to be a smashing success so far! October brought Mike out of the bush and back home with a very successful season behind him. I'm so glad to have him back. He is super ass skinny. I believe he lost close to 35 pounds in eight weeks. He looks like he is twelve. Little pencil necked twerp! Eat a hamburger or ten already! Just kidding honey! I actually love it when you weigh less than me, honest!

The next most awesome event that is taking place in October is that we are taking a trip! Mike's brother-in-law is turning 40 and him and his sister are hosting a fabulous 10 day vacay for all of their immediate relatives! We just had to get ourselves and the four ankle biters there. We were originally supposed to go to Nevis, West Indies and stay at the fantabuous Four Season Resort but that damned Hurricane Omar got a little too close to the island and the resort had to shut down during the time that we were supposed to be there. They recommended the Four Season Resort in Great Exuma (pronouced Zuma) in the Bahamas. So we are going there instead. I love it when plans change at the 11th hour! This is actually a very good thing. I am such a control freak that I had the whole trip planned out in my head - now I don't have time to plan or scheme anything. Well except maybe to explore the caves at 2:00 pm on Monday while I'm wearing my blue jean shorts and my new navy tank top paired with my Teva sandals. You just got a glimpse of the demons in my head, the horror that Mike has to live with. And yet? Miraculously? He loves me anyway!

Hopefully, I will have a billion pictures to bore you to tears, uh, I mean share with you.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

On The Road Again, Just Can't Wait to Get on the Road Again....

Has anyone seen July? I think I misplaced it. Actually, I know where it went - in a freaking blur out the passenger window of our truck. The month of July saw us in our truck for a mere 80 hours. 80! Hours! Voluntarily I might add.

At the beginning of the month Mike and I drove to Calgary to pick up his boys and stopped over in Kelowna to enjoy some sunshine (cause the sun don't shine in Smithers in July - THAT"S for sure!). We headed home after the July Stat - can't say it was a long weekend because it fell on a Tuesday, so lame. Next year will be even worse. A Wednesday Stat - how charming! For the rest of the three weeks that we were in Smithers we stayed fairly busy. We camped with Mike's sister and her family at Moosehorn Lodge. A beautiful place on Uncha Lake. We had fun, but of course it rained. We hung out at our new digs ALOT. The boys road the 4 wheeler around, and around and a-fucking-round the property till I thought I'd go bloody mad. When they weren't being holy hell raisers on four wheels they spent their time shooting anything that moved with the BB/Pellet guns. A little redneck, you say? Hell ya! Girlie on the other hand, stayed in the barn and petted the barn cat named Tyler. Tyler! for God's sake! Who names their cat Tyler?? I'm planning on renaming it Bruce. Much classier - don't you think?

We then headed back to Kelowna (you'd think we live there or something!). We were able to spend some time with my sister AND my Mom and Dad. While we were all there, Mom, my sis and I all got matching tattoos. We got the tattoos to honour our little sister/daughter Darcie Kim who passed away 20 years ago this December. We had planned on getting a snowflake because not only was she born in December but she also passed away in December. However, once we had our consultation with the tattoo artiste my Mom put the kibosh on the snowflake. He would only go as small as a twoonie and she was having none of that! We decided to get her initials tattooed on our feet, near the top of our toes. I love it and even without the tattoo to remind me, I still think of Darcie every single day. She would have approved of our homage, I'm sure.

We then packed up our four stinky teenagers (why must they be reminded about deodorant? WHY? and usually we only notice once it is too late and we are stuck in the truck for a cursed six more hours!) and headed to Vancouver. We were blessed to have been able to witness the Symphony of Fire (I know it's not called that anymore, but fuck if I can remember what it is. I'm a gettin old). 25 minutes of fanatic fireworks. Sooooo cooooool. We did the Aquarium, Science World (we all LOVED that!) and hung out at Granville Island alot. I love that place. We picked up 8 crabs at the Lobster Market and brought them back to Kelowna to share with my parents. We all were in heaven. Tasty, tasty.

The next day we headed to Calgary to drop off Mike's rugrats and take in Calaway Park. We left the park early because it started hailing and besides, it was my birthday that day and Calaway Park just wasn't doing it for me. After we dropped the boys off with their Mom we went shopping and then decided to go and grab a bite at Moxie's. While we were there, we looked up and who should stroll by our table? That would be Mike's son's! They had decided to go to the exact same restaurant at the exact same time. Freaky. Just can't shake the little buggers! Joking, of course. We went out to the show that night and saw Journey to the Centre of the Earth. It was in 3D and we had so much fun. Much laughter when we donned the glasses and even more guffaws when I was the only one to scream when the yo-yo flew straight into my face. Good Times.

We headed back to Kelowna and bought some shit. A dining room table and china cabinet and a bedroom suite for the new digs. We blew the wad! They will look smashing I'm sure. If we ever get them, that is. Still waiting...

We came home and painted and painted and painted some more. I decided that was enough and went back to work early. My sister comes for a visit this weekend. I can't wait. Not sure where we are going to be sleeping but either way, I'm sure we will have a blast. They are heading to Stewart/Hyder for a couple of days to see the glaciers (awe inspiring I assure you - and only 4 hours away, hint, hint for all my prairie friends!) and the Grizzly bears. They have a special grizzly bear viewing platform and this is the perfect time of year to watch them fish for salmon in the river - albeit a little closer to humans than I am totally comfortable with, but they are well distracted with the salmon.

Happy summer everyone!

Sunday, June 15, 2008


I survived my trek into the wilds of Northern BC with nary a scratch on me. Mike and I drove, and drove and drove some more. 6 hours to be exact. At one point he stopped the truck and it still felt like we were moving. A very strange sensation, I can assure you. Thank God for Gravol is all I'm saying. We saw lots and lots of black bears but no grizzly bears.

We set up camp in record time, had some smokies for dinner, took a quad ride around to check things out and then sat around looking at each other. Mike's not much of a talker. Good times. So I up and offed myself to bed by 9:00 pm. If you know about the north, you know that it really doesn't get dark at night at this time of year. Though sadly, it doesn't stay warm at night. I gave up the warm toasty, minus -10 degree Celsius sleeping bag to Mike because he was sleeping in the tent and I thought it would be warmer in the truck. Yeah, I miscalculated a tad on that one. Thankfully the Gravol I took earlier helped me to fall asleep fairly fast. However, I woke up two hours in feeling a tad chilly. I found my hoodie and pulled it on. Two and a half hours in I added one more pair of socks. Three hours in I could no longer feel my toes. Three and a half hours in I thought that I had to pee, but fuck if I was going to go outside and freeze my ass off even more. It was a miserable, miserable night. Mike woke up in the morning and came out of the tent and looked at the truck. It was white with frost - enough said. He started the truck and turned the heat on full blast. I took a while but I eventually defrosted and even started to feel my toes again. I slept a good portion of the way home. I was a little weary. So not quite the exciting adventure I had envisioned.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Weekends Rock

I just had the most excellent weekend. It started on Friday with a round of golf. Mike and I had planned in the morning to go golfing Friday night and were packing up the clubs when my friend J phoned to see if Girlie could babysit. I quickly said yes, because Girlie is always looking to make a buck or two and said I could even drive her in because we were going golfing. She said her and her hubby were going golfing too and that's why they needed Girlie. We quickly came to the conclusion that a foursome was in order! It started out exceedingly well for us girls, who by the way, just spent 20 of the best dollars on golf lessons 2 weeks before. We both made it to the green on the first two holes with one stroke. We were PUMPED. The boys? Not so much. Their first two holes sucked. The game quickly turned around after that, but I'll never get their look of horror out of my head. It makes me happy. They usually kick our asses, in a really bad way.

Saturday was even better, if you can believe it. A bunch of us went quading out on some old logging roads near Topley. Mike couldn't go so I convinced The Boy to come with me. Mike loaded the quad on the truck the night before and gave us a quick lesson before we left that morning. We had to drive about 1.5 hours to get to the unloading spot, me and The Boy had a good time, singing along to the satellite radio and cracking jokes. I love the age my kids are now - too much fun. Another friend of mine, C, was also sans man and brought her son. We we all, "I am woman, hear me roar"! We did really good, but we made one of the more experienced riders (also a girl, I might add) unload our quads from the trucks. We spent about 6 hours driving through mud and puddles and having a jolly old redneck time. I can't wait to do it again. The Boy can't either, and right now, he thinks his Mom is pretty cool, which is a miracle in itself seeing as he is almost 15. We ended up very muddy and sopping wet. I briefly thought about driving home without my wet pants on but thought that would totally wipe out my cool status with The Boy, not to mention scarring him for life. No one needs to see my blindingly white thunder thighs!

Can you believe my weekend gets even better on Sunday? I know, ridiculous, isn't it. I mean one person should not be allowed that much fun. I went golfing AGAIN. Sillyness. We went to the "big" course with J and C and their husbands. The men golfed ahead of us girls followed along behind. It was the most fantastic sunny day and I scored my personal best on that course so far. I got 69 for 9 holes. For the good golfers, don't mock me. You have no idea how far I've come. The girls and I started golfing on the "little" par 3 course about 7 years ago and we would stop counting our score when we got to 10 for each hole. Now we regularly get 4's and 5's on that course with a healthy dose of 3's thrown in. We have come along way. We are still mostly in it for the beer, but the excitement of the really great shots has us hooked into improving our game.

I don't know if I can top that weekend of not. This coming weekend I am going totally out of my comfort zone and driving 6 hours into the middle of nowhere to help Mike set up his camp for his upcoming bear hunt. I'm a little nervous as I am fucking terrified of the brown (or black, for that matter) furry things. After much snivelling and whining Mike said I can sleep in the truck because I know I would be awake and paranoid all night if I had to sleep in the tent. Even the fact that Mike will be packing a gun doesn't really relieve my fears. Baby steps I guess. I plan on taking lots of pictures so make sure you come back and check them out. Also? Knowing me? I will have an adventure or two to share. Can you just picture it now? Me, peeing in the woods and seeing a bear not that far away and trying to run away with my pants around my ankles, or cankles as I fondly refer to them? Should be a great time.

Saturday, April 12, 2008


We were invited over to friend's house last night for a golf tournament. You must be thinking that they have a really big yard. While they do have a fair size lot, it is no where near big enough to golf in. Actually, it was a Wii Golf tournament. Too much fun!

We ended up drawing teams of two and playing best ball and only playing 3 holes each round. Great way to start the golf season. My team didn't win. Actually we didn't even come close to winning, but we drank alot of beer, so that definitely must count for something.

We have had a Wii since last summer and the only thing I have played on it is Guitar Hero (I haven't made it off the easy mode, but I still feel like a rockstar when I play it) and Big Mama's Cookoff (I can crack eggs like nobody's business). I guess it is time to expand my Wii world. Maybe I'll even try bowling or boxing.

Ohh, I hear the kids playing Guitar Hero. Time to kick them off and become the rockstar I was always meant to be!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

I Give You Permission to Kick My Arse

If I was able to, I'd even kick my own ass. Fortunately for me I'm to fat to kick my own ass, because in my world there is usually cause for alot of ass kicking. Me arse would constantly be black and blue. But that's enough ass talk for now. What I'm trying to so eloquently say is that I'm sorry for not being a very good blogger. The funny up and left me and I seriously didn't think you would want to come here just to hear me bitch and moan.

I'm hoping my sense of humour is returning. I feel happier anyway. Thank God for Spring is all I'm saying. You don't really realize you have the winter blues until they go away. Actually, I wouldn't even call them the blues they were more of the Hum Drums. Some might even call them the "I don't give two shits" or the "meh, whatever's".

So phew, that's a load off my chest. My deep dark secret is finally out. It's not all peaches and cream 24-7 in my world. Not that there is specifically anything wrong with it, but I can't say I blow sunshine out of my arse all of the time either. I guess that is how most people are. At least that is what I'm hoping anyways.

So yes, there have been some awesome good times these past few months. I just couldn't get the right words to describe them without them sounding so boring, and well, hum drum.

I do have to tell you about our spring break though. Mike had a guide convention in Victoria, but I couldn't get the whole week off work so I could only join him from the Thursday to the Sunday. We also got his boys for the 2nd week of spring break. There was a bit of a conundrum because they can only fly direct from Calgary, no connecting flights. This means from Calgary they only have a few choices. Vancouver or Kelowna. We had to come up with a major juggling act to make it all work. Mike flew from here to Victoria on the Monday. The following Wednesday I drove Mike's big ass truck with my two kids down to Kelowna (I know, I can't believe I did it either). Thursday I took a flight from Kelowna to Victoria. Friday Mike's boys flew in from Calgary and my Dad picked them up. Mike and I had a fabulous weekend sans kids in Victoria. We both flew to Kelowna on Sunday. Perfect timing because it was Easter and my Mom makes the best Turkey supper's ever, so we were very happy that worked out in our favour. We spent a couple of days in Kelowna and then drove back home with all four kids. It was a very stinky ride. too many bodies cooped up in a cab of a truck for 12 hours. Can you feel my pain. So we had a great remainder of the second week with all the kids, skiing and whatnot. The weather was awesome and I still fit into my ski pants, so all was right in world. We were sad to see the boys go, but I was happy I didn't have to go with Mike when he drove them home - 12 hours each way. I had my fill of the open road.

We still haven't sold the house. I am getting sick and fucking tired of cleaning that is for sure. I need me a housekeeper. I have so many other worthwhile things to do with my free time other than clean bathrooms and vacuum floors. Things like have long soaks in the tub, read books, get together with friends for sushi or beers, surf the Internet, watch TV with my kids.... Oh, wait a minute here. I have been doing those things. I guess that I why I'm slightly overwhelmed with keeping the house in order. I'm too busy doing other, more important things. Anyway, I just wish the fucking this would sell already.

So, I'm back and making a pledge to all of you update daily. DAILY my friends. And when I mean daily, that may mean weekly. And if I don't you can kick my ass for sure.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Homage to My Homies

Friends are a very important part of my life. I have always placed their value on the highest pedestal. Because I lived in such a small town growing up, I was lucky enough to have the same friends from Kindergarten right through Graduation. I still think of those girls (and a couple of guys) as some of my dearest friends. After all, they are the ones that saw me with braces, an eye patch and a face full of pimples (not necessarily all at the same time thank goodness) and still liked me. They helped develop my self-esteem and my ability to nurture friendships later on in my life. I have an easy relationship with them, it feels so easy to pick right back up where we left off even if it has been over a year or sometimes two since I last talked to them. I absolutely LOVE getting Christmas Cards and pictures of their kids now. I helps me feel connected to them. That is very important to me, I think I would feel that I lost a piece of myself if I lost contact with anyone of them. So, Deanna, Sherrie, Brad, Maureen, Troy, Laura, Leanne, Kendall and Carmen; Here's to you! It's a shame I can't see you guys more often and I'm sorry that I suck at keeping in touch. Just remember that I do think of you even if I don't talk to you near enough. Sometimes 2000km is just too far.

I can't say enough about the friends that I have in my life on a daily basis now either. We are all in our mid-thirties and have a lot in common. We are lucky in that our husbands all get along as well so not only do we have a blast hanging out with just the girls (drunken golf and long boozy sushi lunches) but we have just as much fun doing things as couples (like camping and guitar hero parties and ski cabin fun). Not only are they an endless source of entertainment, I also feel that they have my back and would help me out if I ever needed them. Like, to post bail, or hold my hair back while I hurled. That's the kind of friends I'm talking about. The "there for you" kind. So, here's to Cindy, Jen & Cara. I hope each and every one of you will be in my life for a long, long time. You girls rock.

To Karen and Kerry Anne, you have been a part of my life since I was just 19 years old and seen all the good and bad that goes along with (eventually.. I think) growing up. Regrettably we may not be as close as we once were, but I still hold your friendship close to my heart and know that you would help me out if I was ever in a bind and I would definitely do the same for you. Lifers, that is what you are. (aren't you lucky?)

Okay, enough with the sappiness. You're all probably gagging from all the sucralose being poured out right now. Question is...who's going to hold your hair when you hurl?

I would love to hear about who your dearest friends are and why they mean so much to you. If anyone is interested in leaving a comment on this blog, just press the (0) Comments (well that is what it usually says) and it will direct you to a space where you can leave me a message. Easy peasy.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

40 Candles! Quick! Someone call the Fire Department

My sister turned 40 two weeks ago. It was a pretty big deal to her (obviously, hello? 40!). To show her some support Mike and I drove the 12 hours to Edmonton to surprised the old girl on her birthday. Boy was she ever surprised!
It's a blurry picture becuase she was jumping up and down. An old girl like that ought to be careful, a little slip and BAM! All of a sudden you're on the floor with a broken hip yelling "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up"! Take it easy is all I'm saying.
One thing you can count on is the cold weather on the prairies during the winter. We weren't disappointed.
In case you can't make it out, that reads minus fucking 30. Ass biting cold!
We were able to go to Calgary to visit with Mike's boys for the day on Friday. We had a great time and went out to eat, TWICE and also went bowling. It was a good day. I can't wait to see them again at Spring Break. I just wish I hadn't forgotten my camera or I would have taken a couple of pictures.
On Saturday we went into the city and went to IKEA. Yay! I don't know what it is about cheap Swedish furniture, but it gets me hot and bothered. We were also able to visit my Grandma Biggie and my Grandpa Glen who moved to Edmonton from Saskatchewan a while back. It was a nice visit and Grandpa was doing quite well. He is definitely starting to show his age and can't remember who the hell anyone is anymore, but DAMN can he play a mean came of Cribbage!
Aren't they cute? Grandma fed us cookies. Got to love that! After that we went to Red Lobster for dinner. My favourite restaurant EVER. Good thing it's the birthday girl's favourite too or I might have had to be mean and make her go there even if she like another place better. I'm pushy that way. And yes, it still is all about me (see previous post).
We left early Sunday morning and had quite bad roads all the way home. They went from shitty
To shittier,
To...What the fuck are we doing on the road? And I seem to have imbedded my fingers into the dash. Damn!
Driving through Jasper, we got to see a ram just walking down the middle of the road. Not a care in the world.
Hey little buddy!
Mike got us home safe and sound and I was so glad to be able to share such a momentous birthday with my big sister. Also? I'm glad I'm not old like her.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Lets talk about me....

Because I'm a middle child and that's what I like to do. Talk. About. Me. All the time. Of course the universe revolves around me. I'm sorry if you were led to believe otherwise.

The weight loss is going okay. Not as fast as I would like, that's for sure, but I have lost about 6 or seven pounds so far (it was 8, but then we had that drunken 80's party and well....). I'm still on track to lose the 15 pounds that I want to lose by Easter. The first 15 anyway. If I look at the big picture, I just want to jab a fork in my eye, so to maintain my sanity, I have broken my goal into 3 separate mini goals. One month almost down. I walk 4km in 45 minutes every lunch hour on the days that I work, so it usually works out to 4 - 5 times per week. Then every second day I do the Biggest Loser workout. Beginner routine, that is. I have even mastered the plank! And the side plank! And the static wall squat! I'm on fire! I can't even believe I have stuck with it this long. I usually have the the willpower of a marshmallow. That would be none at all, in case you were confused. So yay me, I'm proud of myself. Although I did reach my rock bottom, so I guess there was nowhere else to go but up. 5'2" and 180 pounds is a scary place to be. I don't recommend it.

One of the side benefits of exercising that I'm discovering is that I'm in a fabulous mood lately. I didn't even realize that I was so bitchy before (don't judge me - you would be too dammit - 180 pounds, fuck!). But now that the haze of bitchiness has lifted I feel so perky and optimistic. I'm thinking that Mike and the kids are in a state of bewilderment. Is mom on drugs? Do we walk softly while still carrying a big stick? Maybe this is just lure so she can get close enough to rip our heads off. Time will tell I guess, I'm just hoping this state of happiness hangs around for awhile.

Oh yeah, I also bought a new hair straightener. I am in love. The best purchase I have made since I bought the Arbonne skin care system. It's like I just look at the thing and poof! my hair is smooth and silky. Maybe that's why my mood has been so good lately. Good hair = good mood. Aha! I could really be on to something here. Moments that make you go hmmm.

I'll just leave you with that to ponder on for awhile...

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Step into my DeLorian.....

We're heading back to 1988! Oh yeah baby. Mike and I hosted an 80's party on the weekend. So. Much. Fun. I can't even tell you. The hair was big, the shirts were large and belted and the leggings were tight. We even had lace socks with high heels and peter pan boots. You just can't get hotter than that. I mean, how can you not look hot with your hair standing a full foot off of your skull! And! Don't forget the eyeliner and the beads. We were totally authentic. We cranked up the eighties tunes and all turned back into irresponsible teenagers for the night. Oh who am I kidding? We do that every weekend. We just happened to dress up for this one. It wasn't just the girls who dressed up, although we were way hotter than the guys. We had a "Bobby" Ray Cyrus complete with a mullet wig and a dude with acid wash jeans and long luscious hair. There was also one guy who brought back the centre part and feathered back hair. I'm telling you, it was freaking hilarious. I highly recommend it. Some of the girls couldn't believe how easyily it was to remember how to get your hair so big. I leave you with a picture. Can you believe we had so much hotness in one room?

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Biggest Loser - Day 2

Three words....

Owie, Owie, Owie!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Biggest Loser - Day 1

So today was my first day of the Biggest Loser exercise regime. What to say about that? Oh I know! Planks fucking suck the big one! I mean, come on! You are supposed to be face down on the floor supporting yourself with your toes and your elbows while at the same time, keeping your ass up in the air, but not too high mind. Fuck around! That is some hard shit. You are supposed to be able to hold it for 1 minute and then do it 2 more times. Ha! I'd like to meet the motherfucker that invented that exercise! I ended up doing it in 5, 10 second intervals. After I was done that, Mike was like - okay now you need to do it 2 more times. I buried him behind the shed if anyone's looking for him.

I am so out of shape! I was sweating like a trucker and that was on the BEGINNER routine! I sure hope it gets easier. The ass cramps must be worth something! ASS CRAMPS people! Fuck. *Wheeze*

Something has to be done though. I keep getting this feeling like someone is following me but when I look behind, I realize it is just my ass. It is creeping my out. I am being stalked by my own ass.