Saturday, June 16, 2007

Lard Ass in a Can

So the diet is going good. I can feel the difference already and it has only been one week. I have made it halfway through the weekend without caving in and calling on my little buddy Molson so that's a good thing. However, it IS hot here today and I AM going to a bonfire tonight. We'll see. I am not known for my willpower that is for sure. I am getting pretty sick of eggs and lettuce, but I am fairly certain I can make it one more week without any kind of carbs at all. Next Monday morning I am sooo gonna have me some oatmeal though! For all of my American friends, that there picture is of the best beer. Evah!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Hitting the Beach

I've come to the sad realization that my sister's wedding is in less than 3 months and if I don't do something about my huge ass now, it will be too late and I'll be wearing my bridesmaid dress like a sausage casing. I've decided to give the South Beach Diet one more try. Hell, I've only been on it about 10 other times. What's one more? It did work pretty well for me the first time. The other 9? Not so much. I never made past the weekend before I cheated and then just gave up completely. You can't drink any beer on this diet. That is my downfall. How can you golf without the beer? How can you camp without the beer? How can you do laundry without the beer? I love the beer, and well I have a huge ass to prove it.

So! No beer, no potatoes, no bread, no crackers, no rice, no sugar, no fruit. I'll be eating a TON of eggs and meat and cheese and almonds and butter and loads of veggies. Sounds easy, you may think. Trust me, it's HELL! Anyway I'm now on the clock and I will let you all know how I fared in two week time. I'm even making Mike take the scale away so I will have a nice surprise when I step on it again. Well, I BETTER have a nice surprise when I step on it again, that's all I can say.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Hell in a Handbasket

What did I say about loving natural disasters? I take it back. If I would have thought even for one moment that my golfing days would be over for the foreseeable future, I surely wouldn't have been as excited as I was. Just look at this...

How in the hell am I supposed to go out with my friends to laugh and swear and drink beer now? I just isn't fair. Look at this shit,

fuck sakes!

Not only is the golf course flooded, there is water everywhere that there should not be water. Except my basement. Of which I am eternally grateful (Thank you lord Jesus!)

Our little town even made the "National News", and trust me, that's the BIG TIME!! Here are a few more flood pictures (not that they mean much if you have nothing to compare them to, but humour me)

This is the bridge at Telkwa

This is the Chicken Creek bridge at Dohler Flats. Chicken Creek, I shit you not. I told you I live in the sticks!

On the bright side maybe I'll lose some weight if I can't drink so much beer with my friends while I am golfing. Oh, who am I kidding, sitting around and speculatin' about the disaster we are experiencing is excuse enough for drinking some beer.