My Sister is a Saddist

It sounded like such a great idea last night. Shellie and I were chatting on the phone, I was complaining (its ceaseless, really) about the size of my ass and how I can't even stand myself anymore. So Shell has this great idea. We need to start a running program. Well to clarify, I need to start, she just needs to pick it back up. I was like - Yeah man! I can so do that. Ha. She even got my kids in on it to police me and to report back to her if I didn't do it. As soon as I walked in the door after work today, Girlie was all "get out there and start running!" Little punk. She can go live with her mean Auntie me thinks. So run I did. Well walk-walk-run-walk-run-walk-walk - you get the picture. I.Was.Dying. My head just about popped off. I started seeing stars. Also, imagine my embarrassment as I'm running down Coalmine Road with my huge ass swaying behind me and meeting hordes of people coming home from work. Hey Shell? Or should I say "Be-yatch", I better wake up 5 pounds lighter tomorrow, that's all I can say!