Fat Free

I went to the doctor a while back because I had been experiencing some pain under my right rib cage that radiated into my back and upper right shoulder. I went for an ultrasound and although I don't have gallstones, my gall bladder is inflamed. So! She put me on a fat free diet for two weeks. She kept asking me "Are you sure you can eat absolutely no fat whatsoever, and I mean no fat for 2 weeks"? I reassured her over and over again that "Of course I could!" Whaaaa. What the hell did I sign up for?

Do you know how hard it is to eat absolutely no fat? I've been living on rice cakes, veggies, fruit and very lean meats. You would think I would be dropping the weight, wouldn't you? Sad to say not much more than a couple of pounds.

Because, beer is also fat free.

Yo!

So it's been a little while. Sorry about that. I've been a bit busy. Eating and drinking beer and gaining a wee bit more weight. You know how some people write blogs to chronicle their weight loss? I've always been the kind of person to go against the flow. I wish people would start writing about gaining the flab, and then I will all be like "fuck that!, I'm not the same as all of them losers! I'm gonna lose weight and write about that instead!" Or something like that. So as you can tell, the South Beach sucked the big one. Apparently you have to follow it precisely...whatever. I have a bit of a problem when people tell me what to do. Just one more quirk that makes me so damned loveable.

I.Bought.A.New.Car. Yeah Baby! I am in LOVE! 2007 Jeep Compass in Inferno Red. It sounds so sexy! I keep trying to justify the purchase by the fact that I hated my old piece of shit so intensely needed to buy it before I went psycho on its ass and took a baseball bat to it. Funny story. When I traded it in (for a whopping 500 bones) the salesman got in and shut the door and pulled the door handle right off (so I really couldn't complain about the $500)

Here she is... TA DA! (Isn't she cute?)

My parents and my sister and her fiance came for a visit for the July long weekend. It was so nice having them here. We golfed a bit, toured around and ate alot. We got to show off the views and the wildlife. On Saturday, Shellie, Chris, Mike and I went quading with Mike's step-sister and her husband. It was SOOO much fun. We just bought the quad a couple of weeks ago and I have found my new favourite thing to do...ride in the bitch seat on the back of the quad and take in all the sights and not have to pay too much attention. And we got to drink beer - it was a good day.

Getting ready to ride again after a beer stop

The dam at Fulton Lake

So the weekend was fun and I miss them all now. When they left on the Monday, Mom and Dad took Girlie and The Boy with them to Kelowna for most of July. I was pretty sad to see them all go! It is a tad too quiet round these parts now! The kids, however, are having a blast using the pool at Grandma and Grandpa's (and getting a little spoiled too, I'm sure!)

Mike and I went camping to Babine Lake with some friends on the weekend and even slept in a tent!

Wouldn't you know it, we woke up to pouring rain on Sunday? Packing up a wet tent is not my idea of a good time. So I let Mike do it. We had alot of fun anyway.

Mike cooking over the fire

Frick and Frack our crazy friends

Later in the afternoon we took the new Argo for a ride around Mike's Dad's farm. He is getting it helicoptered in to his camp this weekend so we didn't have much time to play with it but it sure was fun while we could enjoy it. It goes over EVERYTHING! Even logs and swamps. Too much fun.

I have a couple of more weeks to work before we head to Kelowna and Calgary to pick up the kids and take a WHOLE week off of work. I cannot wait! Thanks for checking in and promise to update a bit more often than I have been.

Lard Ass in a Can

So the diet is going good. I can feel the difference already and it has only been one week. I have made it halfway through the weekend without caving in and calling on my little buddy Molson so that's a good thing. However, it IS hot here today and I AM going to a bonfire tonight. We'll see. I am not known for my willpower that is for sure. I am getting pretty sick of eggs and lettuce, but I am fairly certain I can make it one more week without any kind of carbs at all. Next Monday morning I am sooo gonna have me some oatmeal though! For all of my American friends, that there picture is of the best beer. Evah!

Hitting the Beach

I've come to the sad realization that my sister's wedding is in less than 3 months and if I don't do something about my huge ass now, it will be too late and I'll be wearing my bridesmaid dress like a sausage casing. I've decided to give the South Beach Diet one more try. Hell, I've only been on it about 10 other times. What's one more? It did work pretty well for me the first time. The other 9? Not so much. I never made past the weekend before I cheated and then just gave up completely. You can't drink any beer on this diet. That is my downfall. How can you golf without the beer? How can you camp without the beer? How can you do laundry without the beer? I love the beer, and well I have a huge ass to prove it.

So! No beer, no potatoes, no bread, no crackers, no rice, no sugar, no fruit. I'll be eating a TON of eggs and meat and cheese and almonds and butter and loads of veggies. Sounds easy, you may think. Trust me, it's HELL! Anyway I'm now on the clock and I will let you all know how I fared in two week time. I'm even making Mike take the scale away so I will have a nice surprise when I step on it again. Well, I BETTER have a nice surprise when I step on it again, that's all I can say.

Hell in a Handbasket

What did I say about loving natural disasters? I take it back. If I would have thought even for one moment that my golfing days would be over for the foreseeable future, I surely wouldn't have been as excited as I was. Just look at this...

How in the hell am I supposed to go out with my friends to laugh and swear and drink beer now? I just isn't fair. Look at this shit,

fuck sakes!

Not only is the golf course flooded, there is water everywhere that there should not be water. Except my basement. Of which I am eternally grateful (Thank you lord Jesus!)

Our little town even made the "National News", and trust me, that's the BIG TIME!! Here are a few more flood pictures (not that they mean much if you have nothing to compare them to, but humour me)

This is the bridge at Telkwa

This is the Chicken Creek bridge at Dohler Flats. Chicken Creek, I shit you not. I told you I live in the sticks!

On the bright side maybe I'll lose some weight if I can't drink so much beer with my friends while I am golfing. Oh, who am I kidding, sitting around and speculatin' about the disaster we are experiencing is excuse enough for drinking some beer.

My Sister is a Saddist

It sounded like such a great idea last night. Shellie and I were chatting on the phone, I was complaining (its ceaseless, really) about the size of my ass and how I can't even stand myself anymore. So Shell has this great idea. We need to start a running program. Well to clarify, I need to start, she just needs to pick it back up. I was like - Yeah man! I can so do that. Ha. She even got my kids in on it to police me and to report back to her if I didn't do it. As soon as I walked in the door after work today, Girlie was all "get out there and start running!" Little punk. She can go live with her mean Auntie me thinks. So run I did. Well walk-walk-run-walk-run-walk-walk - you get the picture. I.Was.Dying. My head just about popped off. I started seeing stars. Also, imagine my embarrassment as I'm running down Coalmine Road with my huge ass swaying behind me and meeting hordes of people coming home from work. Hey Shell? Or should I say "Be-yatch", I better wake up 5 pounds lighter tomorrow, that's all I can say!

There are just no words....

Picture if you will...6:30 Tuedsay evening. My kitchen. Me in soap suds up to my elbows. Girlie working a dish towel like nobody's business. Song comes on the radio - me and Girlie look at each other. Hand are quickly dried. Mother and dauther are suddenly dancing around the kitchen slapping our asses and singing along to "My Humps".

I have sunk so low....

The River is a Rising

The river that runs through my town is getting’ mighty high! We are on flood watch because we had 150% above the normal snowfall and most of it still has to come down them there mountains. Because I have never seen it quite so high, at least not in recent memory I thought I would take a walk around town and take a few pictures.



It is kind of hard to see in the light, but trust me, the water is flowing very, very fast.

There is all kinds of debris (mostly trees) floating down the river as well. I was able to capture this huge tree flowing very fast by me.



Again it is hard to tell, but it is at least 20 feet long.

And just to be nice, I’ll put in a shot of the park by the river. It is so pretty there.


I don’t know what it is about natural disasters, but I find it all very exciting. What the hell is wrong with me? Don't answer that.

I've Had a Bit of a Shitty Day...

It all started at 6:30 this am when I went to turn the water on in the shower and NOTHING came out. fuck. So off I go to work with hair that is getting greasier by the second. I was starting to look like the Fonz (but without the thumbs up). Who needs hair gel? Just live in Telkwa and you are good to go! Then! just because God was smiling on me today, it just happened to be Welfare Wednesday! Joy! I don't even know how to explain my day at work except that the first time I looked up at the clock it was 12:00 and the next time it was time to go home. It was CRAZY busy. Now, let me be the first government worker to say that I have NEVER had a job so demanding as this one. The next time I hear someone dis the government workers for not doing anything, oooh, I'm gonna punch em in the freaking throat! Oh! and to top it all off? I get one of our homeless dudes asking me if I have any Indian in me. I say not a bit, and he says "Want some". PUKE!!! Okay, day is done, off I go home. I'm driving across one of our three stop lights and I look over and see this crazy lady walking against the light? How RETARDED! Rush hour in Smithers, come one! You are looking to get yourself killed! All joking aside, I looked back up and WHAM! right into the back of a Dodge Neon. fuck me. First accident in 19 years. The high point of the day was I didn't get a ticket, and I didn't lose any points off of my good driving record. Scratch that, there was no high point. The cops came and gave me my ticket the next day! Arrgh! The lowest point was when I realized that this little fender bender probably totalled my 1992 Chevy Blazer (piece of shit) because it is not worth more than , oh say, $500 fucking dollars! fuck! I hope you all feel really sorry for me!

Road Trip!

I had to drive to Terrace on Monday for work. The drive takes about 2 hours (if you drive the speed limit - which I did because I was driving my work vehicle AND I was getting paid for it - so the longer the better, I say!). When I drove down (or is it over?) it was raining and sleeting the whole way. What the hell? Sleet you say? In May? That's fucked up. Yes indeed my friend, it sure is. Not only was the weather crappy but the radio reception was so bad sometime I couldn't even get CBC. I have to tell you how much I truly hate CBC. I only have to hear it for like, one second and I can tell I am listening to that utter shit. Seriously - what is up with the announcer's and the way they ALL talk alike, almost in slow motion or maybe they are all just stoned on some good weed - whatever. I.Hate.It! So! for my drive home today, I stopped in at the Wal-Mart (I love you Wal-Mart!) and decided I needed to buy some CD's to listen to for the drive home.

So here I am looking through all the Chart Hits and nothing is really screaming at me to buy it, so I go over to the next aisle and I catch a glimpse of...oh, my god! Could it be? Hallelujah! Alabama's Greatest Hits. What? I seriously think Alabama is the greatest band of all time (well right up there with Nazareth, Def Leopard and Bon Jovi in any case).

It was like porn for my ears! I sang all the way home. Good thing I was alone, that is all I can say. Mike would agree. But, beware Mike, next time you drive me home after I have had a few beers and feel the urgent need to sing, I swear you will agree that my rendition of "Song of the South" should be showcased on Canadian Idol - and not the "Worst Of" episode, either. I rocked the house Baby! If you know me and know how I am totally tone deaf you probably find this a little humorous.

"Song, song of the South, sweet potato pie and shut my mouth" Is that not some of the best lyrics you have ever heard? I don't exactly know what they mean by it, but DAMN! it sure is fun to sing. It will now be stuck in your head ALL day. Your welcome!

20 Pounds - Holy Freaking Shit!!!

A few posts back I noted that I had gained 10 pounds after quitting smoking. Well as of today, I have officially gained twenty.freaking.pounds. What.The.Fuck?!? I haven't stepped on the scale for awhile, so imagine my stunned surprise. I should have known, it's not like my pants are getting tighter on me as a joke that they thought would be funny. Nope, no joke. My ass is large. Really, really large. In fact today I kept thinking someone was following me, but nope - just my large ass.

Well the buck stops here! I will NOT gain anymore weight. Not only will I not gain, but I will lose. LOSE! I TELL YOU!!! I'll let you know how it's going with "My Incredible Shrinking Ass" chronicles. I know you just can't wait to hear about my ass size, so stay tuned!

The Old Man and the Sea(food)

We spent the past few days in Victoria on Vancouver Island. Mike had his annual Guide Outfitters convention. I was also my Dad's 60th birthday on Friday, so we convinced Mom and Dad to come over to spend it with us in Victoria. I'm sure glad we did. It was nice having Mom and Dad there to do touristy things with while Mike was in meetings all day. I got there two days before Mom and Dad did, so I was able to get my shopping fix taken care of without having to drag them around the mall oohing and aahing over everything I saw. When you live in the frozen north, far far from anything that resembles a mall, you kind of get overwhelmed when you are actually in one. SO! I bought, shirts! and Shoes! and Purses! and clothes for the kids. It was alot of fun. I even took the CITY BUS!!!! Okay, It may not seem like such a big deal to most people, but when you come from a town that has 3 stoplights it was kind of exciting.

We got to eat fancy dinners and wear fancy clothes and drink fancy drinks (okay, so now you know that one is not true - you can't get very fancy with beer, BUT I did drink it out of a glass - so I guess it was kind of fancy) and we got to sleep in a hotel and our room was on the 15th floor so we had a view and everything. We were living the high life!

Mom and Dad flew down on Thursday night so we were only able to see them for a short time in the evening when we went out for dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory. I love that restaurant. You get lots of food and it is really good. Dad's birthday was Friday and Mike was in meetings most of the day. Mom and Dad and I walked around the harbour and went to Madame Trusaud's Wax Museum which was pretty neat. We also took in a restored castle (which was awesome!) We rode the CITY BUS!! to that too. This one was a double decker and Dad decided he would probably not get another chance (because he is 60 after all) so he headed on up to the top deck. And then like the yokels we are, Mom and I had to yell up to him when it was our stop. But the castle was so cool. It is called Craigdarroch Castle and was originally a private residence. The owner, who in 1908 had $20,000,000, had it built. That's ALOT of money in that day and age. Then we wandered around the city and found a Gelato Store that had 66 Flavours of Ice Cream. You heard me - Sixty-freaking-six! We were in awe. We even had to phone Mike on the cell and make him come find us because we couldn't believe our eyes!

Funny story, while we sitting on the sidewalk cafe eating our icecream I was showing Mom some pictures on my digital camera. She was looking at them and then handed me the camera back saying that she just got to a picutre of some guys in suits. It turned out the men in suits was a picture from the wax museum. She thought it was a picture from Mike's convention when in fact it was Jean Cretian, JFK, Nixon and Deifenbaker. Oh man, did we bust a gut!

THEN! we went for some seafood for Dad's birthday dinner. Now when I say seafood I mean, sea!food! We had platters with lobster, Alskan king crab legs, halibut, lobster stuffed mushroom caps and prawns! I even took a picture because it was so unbeleivable delicious. No, we don't get out all that much.

On Saturday Mom and Dad and I toured the Royal BC Museum, which is a pretty cool place. They cover everything from dinosaurs and animal displays to pioneer times. After that we sadly said good bye. Mike and I had to go to his banquet and we were flying out early the next morning. Mom and Dad went and ate some MORE seafood (do you get the title now?) and Mike and I had another fancy dinner and I even got to wear heels! We had to get up at 3:30 the next morning to catch our flight home so we had a very ealy night.

I hope Dad doesn't get alzheimer's too soon so he won't forget his awesome birthday for awhile!

I am a Slacker (But a "Blessed" Slacker)

I have been soooo lazy lately. This quitting smoking thing has really sucked the life out of me. Either that or it is all the stress in my life that I was naively ignoring - until I broke out in Eczema all over my body. I look so hot right now - what with the eczema and the extra 10 pounds I have gained since I quit smoking. You should all feel so jealous!

Anyhow, back to why my life is blessed:

1) I have Mike who loves me very much and who I love equally as much. (AND he puts up with the extra 10 pounds and the ugly skin and the moody bitchiness that sometimes overcomes me!)

2) I have two parents that are STILL together after 40 years AND still love each other! AND they still phone me at least once a week. We all actually like each other. Amazing!

3) This probably should have been number one, but I am to lazy(see above) to move it to the top - I have two GREAT kids who are polite and mind their mother. Not to mention they have great senses of humour and still laugh when I burp really loud. PLUS they don't tell me to shut up when I am singing along to the radio. PLUS they still want bedtime kisses and "I Love You's" at night.

4) I have a great job. With great pay and great benefits. Great.

5) My sister is my friend. I am so puzzled when people tell me that they don't even talk to their siblings. I just don't get that. Shellie is one of only a few people that knows where I am coming from and gets my sarcasm for what it is - a feeble attempt at humour.

6) I was so lucky to grow up in a small town in Saskatchewan that gave me roots. A place that not only I belong to but my entire family (as far back as I can relate) belonged to as well. It gave me security, confidence and a value system that I rely on.

7) I have a great house and have made it into a real home. One that I am proud of.

8) I have the best friends anyone could possibly ask for. Some of which I don't see often enough or talk to regularily (Deanna, Sherrie, Karen) and some I see at least once a week (Cindy, Jenny) but they all me so much to me and I would do anything for anyone of them. I got your backs Babes.

9) I am healthy (well apart from the eczema, obesity and sporatic psychosis) and I am taking steps to keep myself that way.

There are a ton more ways that my life is blessed, but frankly I am just too lazy to keep on typing. I will really try harder to be a more frequent updater. Just so you all know - I is easy to leave me a message in the comments - just click on comments at the bottom of this post. I would love to know why your life is blessed!

To My Big Sister On Her 39th Birthday!

Happy Birthday Shellie! Can you believe you are 39? Holy freaking shit - you are getting old! It seems like just yesterday that you were bossing me around, oh wait, that was yesterday...just kidding. Seriously though, it doesn't seem possible that so many years have passed since we were little stubble jumpers growing up in good old Saskatchewan. Brings back memories, that is for sure.

Remember how we learned how to drive the truck in the field - when we were like EIGHT!!! I don't think girlie could even ride her bike when she was eight! And how we had to drive meals out to the field and we thought we were so cool because we were driving. On the grid road. And we were 12 or so? Good times!

Remember how we used to drive that old snowmobile of Dad's around and around the yard. Well, you drove it around and around, me and Darcie were usually dragging behind holding onto ropes. And you would try and hit all of those big, hard snow drifts? Good times!

Remember how we used to take that old tape recorder you had and have singing contests. To the Grease Soundtrack? Even though neither one of us could sing our way out of a wet paper bag. And you always declared yourself the winner? Good times! p.s. I found and old tape of us singing. I think it would be great to show your new in-laws your exceptional talent at your upcoming wedding. Oh yeah, baby - good times!

Remember in high school when you had all those cool clothes that Grandma liked to buy you, but you never let me were them? And one time when you stayed overnight at Grandma's and I came to school the next day wearing your clothes? And you beat me up in the hallway? Oh yeah - Good times!

But through it all - the good memories and the bad, I'm glad to share them all with you. I am lucky to have you for a big sister and I am even luckier to have you for a friend. Happy Birthday Shell! Love ya!

Yahooo!

I got the freakin job! Can you believe it? I can't. I'm in total shock. Yes, as a matter of fact, I am a little bit lacking in the self confidence department! I wasn't even holding out any hope at all. I was resigned to the fact that I definitely did not get it. Who knew? Now I can give an even bigger sigh of relief. Now I just have to make it through the next week to make sure that none of the other applicants appeal the decision.

I tell you - 2007 is going to be MY year! I quit smoking, got a new job, my divorce *will* be finalized (that is a whole other blog entry). Who knows what else, but I can feel good things coming my way!

Interviews Suck the Life out of Me

On Tuesday I had an interview for a new job. Not that I don't like my old job, I do. In fact I love it. Unfortunately it is only seasonal (Apr-Sep) and it is not permanent. They could decide to cut that position at any time and I would be out on my ass.

So back in OCTOBER(!) I applied on a full time permanent position with the provincial government. It is for the Supervisor of Administrative Services with the welfare office. I seriously think I am out of my mind. Anyhoo - I had an interview (ON TUESDSAY!!!). Count 'em - 3 months to be contacted for an interview. That is typical government speed. So the pay would be great and the benefits would be great but the stress level and work load are apparently quite horrendous. I really debated wether or not to even apply for the job, but I decided to go ahead and let fate decide.

I totally stressed myself out over the interview AND studied my ass off. If you knew me at all, you would find this odd, as I am a master procrastinator and always put things off to the last minute. I get to the interview on Tuesday thinking I am well prepared. I dressed up in a smart black suit and even remembered to use the lint brush right before I walked out the door. I though I had it in the bag. My interview was schedule for 9:00. They asked me four questions. Four retarded questions. That was that and I was out the door in 20 minutes! I totally bombed. I mean really! What the hell! Here is one of the inane questions they asked. "Tell us about a time you received information or facts that affected decision you had already made". ???. Okay, maybe some people can think on their feet. I am not one of those poeple. I'm not really sure that they were after with that doozy. I spouted some mumbo jumbo about finding out procedures had changed after I had followed the old ones. Pretty sure I bombed. Anyhow, I still can't think of a good example.

I am soooo glad I can relax and breathe again. My head is no longer a light shade of purple. Stress sucks and interviews suck even more. I don't think I will do another one of those for a while.

If I actually get this job it will be a miracle.

Disneyland Rocks!

I'm slacking off on my updates. Actually I'm just now over my exhaustion from all of our travelling. We left Kelowna on December 27th enroute to Calgary where we would embark on our trip to Southern California. The roads were good until we hit the Rockies. After that they were pure hell. Cars in the ditch everywhere! However, we made it safe and sound and spent the night at the swanky Travelodge in Calgary South (so far from swanky, I can't begin to tell you! The bathtub would not drain, and I can't even begin to imagine what was plugging it up). We had a three hour flight to LAX and then waited another hour for our shuttle bus to take us to the hotel. By the time we checked in it was midnight. We were all starving and tired. Not a good mix. Not to mention that I had my last cigarettle ouside of the Los Angeles International Aiport. I thought it would be a great time to quit. Is there ever a good time to quit? So I was dying for a smoke as well. We ended up ordering mediocre pizza and chicken strips for J.

The hotel we stayed at was awesome. We stayed at the Marriott Residence Inn Maingate. They are 8-plex condos with full kitchens and your own private entrance. They even had a sepatate bedroom with two queen beds. Mike and I ended up on the hide-a-bed in the living room. That way we could watch what we wanted on TV and the kids could watch what they wanted on theirs. The only drawback was that there was only one bathroom, and one bathroom and six people does not always work so well. The hotel has an outdoor heated pool which the kids lived in and two hot tubs. One of which was right out our door. Mommy liked that! The hotel offered a full buffet breakfast every moring as well, so we filled our boots with eggs, bacon hashbrowns and french toast every morning! You would have thinked we would have gained weight on the trip but we walked out asses off every day. The first couple of days, me and the kids were so sore we had to rely on the magical qualities of Advil.

Disneyland was awesome. The kids went on all of the rides and even tricked me into going on Big Thunder Mountain. Big should have been my first clue, Thunder should have clinched it. I was had. It as rollercoaster! I don't do rollercoasters! I get motionsick so easy and as you all know, I have a phobia about vomiting, so needless to say, rollercoasters are not on my list of 100 things! After I got off, I thought my head was going to explode. No doubt from my bloodpressure going through the roof! Needless to say, I heeded all of the warnings about motionsickness from then on! I don't know how they do it, but it smells SO good there. I have a theory that they pipe in yummy odors, but I could be wrong. Needless to say, it really IS the happiest place on earth! My favorite part of the whole place was Pirates of the Carribean. It was so cool! We spend 3 full days there and I could have stayed longer.

We also spend 2 days at California Adventure. Pretty cool place, I must admit. The kids went on all of the rides there, even California Screamin and the Mali Boomer. Insane is what they are! Mike also went on the Mali Boomer and it said it scared the shit right out of him. They strap you into a seat and shoot you straight into the air, and then yo-yo you back down. Fun times!

We spend they other two days of our vacation at Sea World and Universal Sudios. I didn't care too much for Universal Studios. I admit that I did enjoy the backlot tour, but since I don't do rides, there is not much else for me to do there. The Waterworld show is pretty cool, though. Especially since it only involved me sitting in a stadium and watching a stunt show. Sea World on the other hand was very cool! I loved the Shamu show as well as seeing the walruses and dolphins perform. I also loved the polar bears and beluga whales. We had a bus driver on drugs that day though. On our way back to Anaheim he missed the entrance to the freeway TWICE! We were on the bus for about an hour and the kids were like "Where are we, are we almost home?" and I said "We just passed Sea World -AGAIN".

So we had an awesome time. The kids were at the perfect ages to take them (13, 12, 11 and 10). They will remember the trip for the rest of their lives! The crappy thing was how expensive everything in the parks were. A bottle of water - $3, a churro - $3, a pop - $3, a cookie - $3. You get the picture. I was 3 dollered to death. Easy to do with 4 kids all dying of hunger and thirst. Also, had we known, we would have picked a different time of the year to go. Apparently the days right before New Years are the busiest days the parks have ALL YEAR! They even sold out on New Year's Eve. We elected to bring in the New Year in California Adventure since it is typically less busy than Disneyland. I don't think it would have mattered where we went, since we were crushed by a crowd there too. AND the fireworks weren't nearly as good there compared to the once we saw over the trees at Disneyland.

We flew home on the 5th of January. Our flight was VERY turbulent for most of the way, especially as we made our desent into Calgary. Not my idea of fun at all. I hate turbulance. By the time we got our luggage, proceeded through customs and found the truck it was already 5 o'clock. Then we had to drive the boys home (on the other side of the city). We dropped them off at 6 and headed to Wetaskiwin to spend the night at my sister's. We finally got there at 9 pm. They waited supper for us, so we were all pretty hungy. My sister made her world famous lazagne, which was much appreciated as well as supplied me with liquor, which is also much appreciated. We left there in the morning and headed out on horrible roads. 15 hours later we made it home. The drive should only take 12.5! The first couple of days back, all I wanted to do was sleep!

Anyway, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat if I could have just one more day in the Magic Kingdom! Maybe that yummy smell is just a method of brainwashing people!

Christmas in Kelowna

We've been at my parent's since the 20th of December. I'm pretty sure they will heave a huge sigh of relief when we back out of their driveway on the 27th. 7 days is a long time to stay at anyone's house, never mind the 4 extra littler bodies we brought along as well. Thank God they have a big house, that is all I can say.

We are not planning to much for Christmas Eve. We are just going to make a bunch of appetizers and play some games. The kids should have fun though.

Girlie is having trouble with nosebleeds last night and today. She ended up getting some on the new comforter on the bed she is sleeping in. So we are washing it, but you know how they always end up bunching up in the wrong places once they have been washed.

Mike's son J has been proving to be another royal pain. He is allergic to everything. Dairy, Eggs, Sugar. The list goes on, but those are the main ones and the ones that make it so damn hard to cook for him. More added stress for Mom. Like I said, they will be waving with glee on the 27th!

The kids are pumped for Christmas morning and have actually been doing everything we ask them to do. Bloody Amazing! I wish Christmas was all year round. Beds would get made, dishes would be put in the dishwasher and there would be no squabbles. Dream on, I know.

We are heading to Disneyland on the 28th of December until the 5th of January. None of us have ever been, so we are all pretty pumped up. We are also planning on doing Sea World and Universal Studios. We will be the bumpkins wondering around with our mouths hanging open at all the wonderous sights we have been promised in the brochures. Mike's son J is bound and determined that he is also going surfing. He does not understand that it will not be 80 degrees there in December. Maybe he will have to learn the hard way. Unfortunately the little bugger packed along a wet suit. My problem is deciding what to pack when we go. I know it's not going to be hot down there, but it will be considerably warmer than here. We are used to about 20 degrees Farenheit and I undersand it will be about 40 degrees warmer there. I guess we will wing it. I'm bringing our summer coats and no shorts, so hopefully I am leaning in the right direction.

I hope everyone has a fabulous Christmas and a smashing New Year's. I will post about our trip when I get home!

I'm Weird

Some of you already know, and some of you probably don't know that I have a few weird traits that make me who I am.

I have a deadly phobia about vomit. Weird, I know. I told you! It's not that whole "I'll get sick if you puke infront of me" thing that alot of people have. I literally have the heart palpitation, breaking out in a cold sweat and trying to run as fast and as far as I can from anything that resembles vomit thing going on. It is a debilitating phobia to be sure. I am afraid to fly - I mean, come on, EVERY seat has a barf bag. The odds are not good people! I am afraid to take a cruise or even go on a ferry (I've heard the horror stories of rough seas). I can't be in closed off places incase someone gets sick and I have to run somewhere far away. Middle of the movie row - forget that! It is not even just being around someone who is sick, the thought of myself vomiting almost throws me into fits! Needless to say, I don't do it. Mind over matter, it can be done! I can only remember vomiting 4 times in my entire life (I'm 36) so it is a very rare occurance. The last time was 10 years ago when I got sun stroke. I ALWAYS wear a hat and stick to the shade now! I really need to do some research on this because I would dearly love to get this monkey off my back!

Another weird thing about me is I can roll my stomach. It is a skill I have had since I was a child. It is not a pretty site. I am 10 pounds, okay 15 pounds, overweight and the sight of my big belly rolling up and down is quite disturbing. The kids used to think it was pretty cool, not so much anymore.

I can burp really, really loudly. Skill or weird - you decide. It brings me and the kids endless hours of enjoyment though.

I have a laugh that is very distictive. Some have called it a popcorn laugh, some have called it a cackle. Call it what you will - I laugh alot! I throw my head back and let loose. People pick me out of a crowd just by listening to my laugh.

One last thing - I'm scared of the dark. I can't STAND it when it is completely pitch black. So I need a night light - at 36! Definitely weird. My kids haven't needed one since they were 5!

Okay, okay - one more. I am completely anal about how my towels are folded. They need to be in half (long ways) in half again (same direction as before) and then in threes. Nobody but me is allowed to fold the towels. I know, in the big scheme of things what does it really matter, but I get a little snaky if I know they are in the cupboard and not folded right. Sigh.


I am weird!

Large Marge Lives In My Backyard

A cow moose has taken a liking to my backyard. I affectionately named her Large Marge the Moose because she is sooo big. Bigger, at least, than the usual cow moose that have visited us over the years. She has taken a real liking to the willows surrounding our yard. I wish it would end there. She also likes my ornamental cherry tree. Alot. There is no fazing her either. There she is muching on my cherry tree, while I am yelling at her to go (as I hide in my carport), and all she does is give me this bored look like she is saying, "Pullease! I am Large Marge - I will eat cherry trees all day, now begone!" We also have a deer hanging around. I haven't actually seen the deer but there are alot of tracks. The deer also likes my cherry tree. If anyone knows of an effective way to keep deer and moose away from ornamental trees, please leave a note in the comments!

I went with a friend today to scope out a puppy that she was thinking of buying. She was so cute! Half poodle, half shitzu - I like to call it a shitty poo. My sister bred her cockerspaniel with a shitzu last year so she had a litter of cockashits. I crack me up. Anyway, I digress. My friend fell in love with the puppy and paid for her on the spot. She was the runt of the litter and soooo cute. Now she just has to explain the $350 to her husband. Let's see how creative she can get. She gave the breeder $100 cash and a $250 cheque so I am pretty sure she will be telling him the puppy only cost $250.

My sister used to play a little game like that with her ex-husband. If she spend $50 on something she would only tell him it cost $20, and if she spend $100 she would say it only cost $50. Considering he is her EX-husband, I don't think that gig worked out too well for her.

Wow, moose, deer, shitty poos and mind games - I'm on a roll tonight!