Lets talk about me....

Because I'm a middle child and that's what I like to do. Talk. About. Me. All the time. Of course the universe revolves around me. I'm sorry if you were led to believe otherwise.

The weight loss is going okay. Not as fast as I would like, that's for sure, but I have lost about 6 or seven pounds so far (it was 8, but then we had that drunken 80's party and well....). I'm still on track to lose the 15 pounds that I want to lose by Easter. The first 15 anyway. If I look at the big picture, I just want to jab a fork in my eye, so to maintain my sanity, I have broken my goal into 3 separate mini goals. One month almost down. I walk 4km in 45 minutes every lunch hour on the days that I work, so it usually works out to 4 - 5 times per week. Then every second day I do the Biggest Loser workout. Beginner routine, that is. I have even mastered the plank! And the side plank! And the static wall squat! I'm on fire! I can't even believe I have stuck with it this long. I usually have the the willpower of a marshmallow. That would be none at all, in case you were confused. So yay me, I'm proud of myself. Although I did reach my rock bottom, so I guess there was nowhere else to go but up. 5'2" and 180 pounds is a scary place to be. I don't recommend it.

One of the side benefits of exercising that I'm discovering is that I'm in a fabulous mood lately. I didn't even realize that I was so bitchy before (don't judge me - you would be too dammit - 180 pounds, fuck!). But now that the haze of bitchiness has lifted I feel so perky and optimistic. I'm thinking that Mike and the kids are in a state of bewilderment. Is mom on drugs? Do we walk softly while still carrying a big stick? Maybe this is just lure so she can get close enough to rip our heads off. Time will tell I guess, I'm just hoping this state of happiness hangs around for awhile.

Oh yeah, I also bought a new hair straightener. I am in love. The best purchase I have made since I bought the Arbonne skin care system. It's like I just look at the thing and poof! my hair is smooth and silky. Maybe that's why my mood has been so good lately. Good hair = good mood. Aha! I could really be on to something here. Moments that make you go hmmm.

I'll just leave you with that to ponder on for awhile...

Step into my DeLorian.....

We're heading back to 1988! Oh yeah baby. Mike and I hosted an 80's party on the weekend. So. Much. Fun. I can't even tell you. The hair was big, the shirts were large and belted and the leggings were tight. We even had lace socks with high heels and peter pan boots. You just can't get hotter than that. I mean, how can you not look hot with your hair standing a full foot off of your skull! And! Don't forget the eyeliner and the beads. We were totally authentic. We cranked up the eighties tunes and all turned back into irresponsible teenagers for the night. Oh who am I kidding? We do that every weekend. We just happened to dress up for this one. It wasn't just the girls who dressed up, although we were way hotter than the guys. We had a "Bobby" Ray Cyrus complete with a mullet wig and a dude with acid wash jeans and long luscious hair. There was also one guy who brought back the centre part and feathered back hair. I'm telling you, it was freaking hilarious. I highly recommend it. Some of the girls couldn't believe how easyily it was to remember how to get your hair so big. I leave you with a picture. Can you believe we had so much hotness in one room?

Biggest Loser - Day 2

Three words....

Owie, Owie, Owie!

Biggest Loser - Day 1

So today was my first day of the Biggest Loser exercise regime. What to say about that? Oh I know! Planks fucking suck the big one! I mean, come on! You are supposed to be face down on the floor supporting yourself with your toes and your elbows while at the same time, keeping your ass up in the air, but not too high mind. Fuck around! That is some hard shit. You are supposed to be able to hold it for 1 minute and then do it 2 more times. Ha! I'd like to meet the motherfucker that invented that exercise! I ended up doing it in 5, 10 second intervals. After I was done that, Mike was like - okay now you need to do it 2 more times. I buried him behind the shed if anyone's looking for him.

I am so out of shape! I was sweating like a trucker and that was on the BEGINNER routine! I sure hope it gets easier. The ass cramps must be worth something! ASS CRAMPS people! Fuck. *Wheeze*

Something has to be done though. I keep getting this feeling like someone is following me but when I look behind, I realize it is just my ass. It is creeping my out. I am being stalked by my own ass.