On The Road Again, Just Can't Wait to Get on the Road Again....

Has anyone seen July? I think I misplaced it. Actually, I know where it went - in a freaking blur out the passenger window of our truck. The month of July saw us in our truck for a mere 80 hours. 80! Hours! Voluntarily I might add.

At the beginning of the month Mike and I drove to Calgary to pick up his boys and stopped over in Kelowna to enjoy some sunshine (cause the sun don't shine in Smithers in July - THAT"S for sure!). We headed home after the July Stat - can't say it was a long weekend because it fell on a Tuesday, so lame. Next year will be even worse. A Wednesday Stat - how charming! For the rest of the three weeks that we were in Smithers we stayed fairly busy. We camped with Mike's sister and her family at Moosehorn Lodge. A beautiful place on Uncha Lake. We had fun, but of course it rained. We hung out at our new digs ALOT. The boys road the 4 wheeler around, and around and a-fucking-round the property till I thought I'd go bloody mad. When they weren't being holy hell raisers on four wheels they spent their time shooting anything that moved with the BB/Pellet guns. A little redneck, you say? Hell ya! Girlie on the other hand, stayed in the barn and petted the barn cat named Tyler. Tyler! for God's sake! Who names their cat Tyler?? I'm planning on renaming it Bruce. Much classier - don't you think?

We then headed back to Kelowna (you'd think we live there or something!). We were able to spend some time with my sister AND my Mom and Dad. While we were all there, Mom, my sis and I all got matching tattoos. We got the tattoos to honour our little sister/daughter Darcie Kim who passed away 20 years ago this December. We had planned on getting a snowflake because not only was she born in December but she also passed away in December. However, once we had our consultation with the tattoo artiste my Mom put the kibosh on the snowflake. He would only go as small as a twoonie and she was having none of that! We decided to get her initials tattooed on our feet, near the top of our toes. I love it and even without the tattoo to remind me, I still think of Darcie every single day. She would have approved of our homage, I'm sure.

We then packed up our four stinky teenagers (why must they be reminded about deodorant? WHY? and usually we only notice once it is too late and we are stuck in the truck for a cursed six more hours!) and headed to Vancouver. We were blessed to have been able to witness the Symphony of Fire (I know it's not called that anymore, but fuck if I can remember what it is. I'm a gettin old). 25 minutes of fanatic fireworks. Sooooo cooooool. We did the Aquarium, Science World (we all LOVED that!) and hung out at Granville Island alot. I love that place. We picked up 8 crabs at the Lobster Market and brought them back to Kelowna to share with my parents. We all were in heaven. Tasty, tasty.

The next day we headed to Calgary to drop off Mike's rugrats and take in Calaway Park. We left the park early because it started hailing and besides, it was my birthday that day and Calaway Park just wasn't doing it for me. After we dropped the boys off with their Mom we went shopping and then decided to go and grab a bite at Moxie's. While we were there, we looked up and who should stroll by our table? That would be Mike's son's! They had decided to go to the exact same restaurant at the exact same time. Freaky. Just can't shake the little buggers! Joking, of course. We went out to the show that night and saw Journey to the Centre of the Earth. It was in 3D and we had so much fun. Much laughter when we donned the glasses and even more guffaws when I was the only one to scream when the yo-yo flew straight into my face. Good Times.

We headed back to Kelowna and bought some shit. A dining room table and china cabinet and a bedroom suite for the new digs. We blew the wad! They will look smashing I'm sure. If we ever get them, that is. Still waiting...

We came home and painted and painted and painted some more. I decided that was enough and went back to work early. My sister comes for a visit this weekend. I can't wait. Not sure where we are going to be sleeping but either way, I'm sure we will have a blast. They are heading to Stewart/Hyder for a couple of days to see the glaciers (awe inspiring I assure you - and only 4 hours away, hint, hint for all my prairie friends!) and the Grizzly bears. They have a special grizzly bear viewing platform and this is the perfect time of year to watch them fish for salmon in the river - albeit a little closer to humans than I am totally comfortable with, but they are well distracted with the salmon.

Happy summer everyone!

Klappan

I survived my trek into the wilds of Northern BC with nary a scratch on me. Mike and I drove, and drove and drove some more. 6 hours to be exact. At one point he stopped the truck and it still felt like we were moving. A very strange sensation, I can assure you. Thank God for Gravol is all I'm saying. We saw lots and lots of black bears but no grizzly bears.



We set up camp in record time, had some smokies for dinner, took a quad ride around to check things out and then sat around looking at each other. Mike's not much of a talker. Good times. So I up and offed myself to bed by 9:00 pm. If you know about the north, you know that it really doesn't get dark at night at this time of year. Though sadly, it doesn't stay warm at night. I gave up the warm toasty, minus -10 degree Celsius sleeping bag to Mike because he was sleeping in the tent and I thought it would be warmer in the truck. Yeah, I miscalculated a tad on that one. Thankfully the Gravol I took earlier helped me to fall asleep fairly fast. However, I woke up two hours in feeling a tad chilly. I found my hoodie and pulled it on. Two and a half hours in I added one more pair of socks. Three hours in I could no longer feel my toes. Three and a half hours in I thought that I had to pee, but fuck if I was going to go outside and freeze my ass off even more. It was a miserable, miserable night. Mike woke up in the morning and came out of the tent and looked at the truck. It was white with frost - enough said. He started the truck and turned the heat on full blast. I took a while but I eventually defrosted and even started to feel my toes again. I slept a good portion of the way home. I was a little weary. So not quite the exciting adventure I had envisioned.

Weekends Rock

I just had the most excellent weekend. It started on Friday with a round of golf. Mike and I had planned in the morning to go golfing Friday night and were packing up the clubs when my friend J phoned to see if Girlie could babysit. I quickly said yes, because Girlie is always looking to make a buck or two and said I could even drive her in because we were going golfing. She said her and her hubby were going golfing too and that's why they needed Girlie. We quickly came to the conclusion that a foursome was in order! It started out exceedingly well for us girls, who by the way, just spent 20 of the best dollars on golf lessons 2 weeks before. We both made it to the green on the first two holes with one stroke. We were PUMPED. The boys? Not so much. Their first two holes sucked. The game quickly turned around after that, but I'll never get their look of horror out of my head. It makes me happy. They usually kick our asses, in a really bad way.

Saturday was even better, if you can believe it. A bunch of us went quading out on some old logging roads near Topley. Mike couldn't go so I convinced The Boy to come with me. Mike loaded the quad on the truck the night before and gave us a quick lesson before we left that morning. We had to drive about 1.5 hours to get to the unloading spot, me and The Boy had a good time, singing along to the satellite radio and cracking jokes. I love the age my kids are now - too much fun. Another friend of mine, C, was also sans man and brought her son. We we all, "I am woman, hear me roar"! We did really good, but we made one of the more experienced riders (also a girl, I might add) unload our quads from the trucks. We spent about 6 hours driving through mud and puddles and having a jolly old redneck time. I can't wait to do it again. The Boy can't either, and right now, he thinks his Mom is pretty cool, which is a miracle in itself seeing as he is almost 15. We ended up very muddy and sopping wet. I briefly thought about driving home without my wet pants on but thought that would totally wipe out my cool status with The Boy, not to mention scarring him for life. No one needs to see my blindingly white thunder thighs!

Can you believe my weekend gets even better on Sunday? I know, ridiculous, isn't it. I mean one person should not be allowed that much fun. I went golfing AGAIN. Sillyness. We went to the "big" course with J and C and their husbands. The men golfed ahead of us girls followed along behind. It was the most fantastic sunny day and I scored my personal best on that course so far. I got 69 for 9 holes. For the good golfers, don't mock me. You have no idea how far I've come. The girls and I started golfing on the "little" par 3 course about 7 years ago and we would stop counting our score when we got to 10 for each hole. Now we regularly get 4's and 5's on that course with a healthy dose of 3's thrown in. We have come along way. We are still mostly in it for the beer, but the excitement of the really great shots has us hooked into improving our game.

I don't know if I can top that weekend of not. This coming weekend I am going totally out of my comfort zone and driving 6 hours into the middle of nowhere to help Mike set up his camp for his upcoming bear hunt. I'm a little nervous as I am fucking terrified of the brown (or black, for that matter) furry things. After much snivelling and whining Mike said I can sleep in the truck because I know I would be awake and paranoid all night if I had to sleep in the tent. Even the fact that Mike will be packing a gun doesn't really relieve my fears. Baby steps I guess. I plan on taking lots of pictures so make sure you come back and check them out. Also? Knowing me? I will have an adventure or two to share. Can you just picture it now? Me, peeing in the woods and seeing a bear not that far away and trying to run away with my pants around my ankles, or cankles as I fondly refer to them? Should be a great time.

FORE!

We were invited over to friend's house last night for a golf tournament. You must be thinking that they have a really big yard. While they do have a fair size lot, it is no where near big enough to golf in. Actually, it was a Wii Golf tournament. Too much fun!

We ended up drawing teams of two and playing best ball and only playing 3 holes each round. Great way to start the golf season. My team didn't win. Actually we didn't even come close to winning, but we drank alot of beer, so that definitely must count for something.

We have had a Wii since last summer and the only thing I have played on it is Guitar Hero (I haven't made it off the easy mode, but I still feel like a rockstar when I play it) and Big Mama's Cookoff (I can crack eggs like nobody's business). I guess it is time to expand my Wii world. Maybe I'll even try bowling or boxing.

Ohh, I hear the kids playing Guitar Hero. Time to kick them off and become the rockstar I was always meant to be!

I Give You Permission to Kick My Arse

If I was able to, I'd even kick my own ass. Fortunately for me I'm to fat to kick my own ass, because in my world there is usually cause for alot of ass kicking. Me arse would constantly be black and blue. But that's enough ass talk for now. What I'm trying to so eloquently say is that I'm sorry for not being a very good blogger. The funny up and left me and I seriously didn't think you would want to come here just to hear me bitch and moan.

I'm hoping my sense of humour is returning. I feel happier anyway. Thank God for Spring is all I'm saying. You don't really realize you have the winter blues until they go away. Actually, I wouldn't even call them the blues they were more of the Hum Drums. Some might even call them the "I don't give two shits" or the "meh, whatever's".

So phew, that's a load off my chest. My deep dark secret is finally out. It's not all peaches and cream 24-7 in my world. Not that there is specifically anything wrong with it, but I can't say I blow sunshine out of my arse all of the time either. I guess that is how most people are. At least that is what I'm hoping anyways.

So yes, there have been some awesome good times these past few months. I just couldn't get the right words to describe them without them sounding so boring, and well, hum drum.

I do have to tell you about our spring break though. Mike had a guide convention in Victoria, but I couldn't get the whole week off work so I could only join him from the Thursday to the Sunday. We also got his boys for the 2nd week of spring break. There was a bit of a conundrum because they can only fly direct from Calgary, no connecting flights. This means from Calgary they only have a few choices. Vancouver or Kelowna. We had to come up with a major juggling act to make it all work. Mike flew from here to Victoria on the Monday. The following Wednesday I drove Mike's big ass truck with my two kids down to Kelowna (I know, I can't believe I did it either). Thursday I took a flight from Kelowna to Victoria. Friday Mike's boys flew in from Calgary and my Dad picked them up. Mike and I had a fabulous weekend sans kids in Victoria. We both flew to Kelowna on Sunday. Perfect timing because it was Easter and my Mom makes the best Turkey supper's ever, so we were very happy that worked out in our favour. We spent a couple of days in Kelowna and then drove back home with all four kids. It was a very stinky ride. too many bodies cooped up in a cab of a truck for 12 hours. Can you feel my pain. So we had a great remainder of the second week with all the kids, skiing and whatnot. The weather was awesome and I still fit into my ski pants, so all was right in world. We were sad to see the boys go, but I was happy I didn't have to go with Mike when he drove them home - 12 hours each way. I had my fill of the open road.

We still haven't sold the house. I am getting sick and fucking tired of cleaning that is for sure. I need me a housekeeper. I have so many other worthwhile things to do with my free time other than clean bathrooms and vacuum floors. Things like have long soaks in the tub, read books, get together with friends for sushi or beers, surf the Internet, watch TV with my kids.... Oh, wait a minute here. I have been doing those things. I guess that I why I'm slightly overwhelmed with keeping the house in order. I'm too busy doing other, more important things. Anyway, I just wish the fucking this would sell already.

So, I'm back and making a pledge to all of you update daily. DAILY my friends. And when I mean daily, that may mean weekly. And if I don't you can kick my ass for sure.

Homage to My Homies

Friends are a very important part of my life. I have always placed their value on the highest pedestal. Because I lived in such a small town growing up, I was lucky enough to have the same friends from Kindergarten right through Graduation. I still think of those girls (and a couple of guys) as some of my dearest friends. After all, they are the ones that saw me with braces, an eye patch and a face full of pimples (not necessarily all at the same time thank goodness) and still liked me. They helped develop my self-esteem and my ability to nurture friendships later on in my life. I have an easy relationship with them, it feels so easy to pick right back up where we left off even if it has been over a year or sometimes two since I last talked to them. I absolutely LOVE getting Christmas Cards and pictures of their kids now. I helps me feel connected to them. That is very important to me, I think I would feel that I lost a piece of myself if I lost contact with anyone of them. So, Deanna, Sherrie, Brad, Maureen, Troy, Laura, Leanne, Kendall and Carmen; Here's to you! It's a shame I can't see you guys more often and I'm sorry that I suck at keeping in touch. Just remember that I do think of you even if I don't talk to you near enough. Sometimes 2000km is just too far.

I can't say enough about the friends that I have in my life on a daily basis now either. We are all in our mid-thirties and have a lot in common. We are lucky in that our husbands all get along as well so not only do we have a blast hanging out with just the girls (drunken golf and long boozy sushi lunches) but we have just as much fun doing things as couples (like camping and guitar hero parties and ski cabin fun). Not only are they an endless source of entertainment, I also feel that they have my back and would help me out if I ever needed them. Like, to post bail, or hold my hair back while I hurled. That's the kind of friends I'm talking about. The "there for you" kind. So, here's to Cindy, Jen & Cara. I hope each and every one of you will be in my life for a long, long time. You girls rock.

To Karen and Kerry Anne, you have been a part of my life since I was just 19 years old and seen all the good and bad that goes along with (eventually.. I think) growing up. Regrettably we may not be as close as we once were, but I still hold your friendship close to my heart and know that you would help me out if I was ever in a bind and I would definitely do the same for you. Lifers, that is what you are. (aren't you lucky?)

Okay, enough with the sappiness. You're all probably gagging from all the sucralose being poured out right now. Question is...who's going to hold your hair when you hurl?

I would love to hear about who your dearest friends are and why they mean so much to you. If anyone is interested in leaving a comment on this blog, just press the (0) Comments (well that is what it usually says) and it will direct you to a space where you can leave me a message. Easy peasy.

40 Candles! Quick! Someone call the Fire Department

My sister turned 40 two weeks ago. It was a pretty big deal to her (obviously, hello? 40!). To show her some support Mike and I drove the 12 hours to Edmonton to surprised the old girl on her birthday. Boy was she ever surprised!

It's a blurry picture becuase she was jumping up and down. An old girl like that ought to be careful, a little slip and BAM! All of a sudden you're on the floor with a broken hip yelling "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up"! Take it easy is all I'm saying.

One thing you can count on is the cold weather on the prairies during the winter. We weren't disappointed.

In case you can't make it out, that reads minus fucking 30. Ass biting cold!

We were able to go to Calgary to visit with Mike's boys for the day on Friday. We had a great time and went out to eat, TWICE and also went bowling. It was a good day. I can't wait to see them again at Spring Break. I just wish I hadn't forgotten my camera or I would have taken a couple of pictures.

On Saturday we went into the city and went to IKEA. Yay! I don't know what it is about cheap Swedish furniture, but it gets me hot and bothered. We were also able to visit my Grandma Biggie and my Grandpa Glen who moved to Edmonton from Saskatchewan a while back. It was a nice visit and Grandpa was doing quite well. He is definitely starting to show his age and can't remember who the hell anyone is anymore, but DAMN can he play a mean came of Cribbage!

Aren't they cute? Grandma fed us cookies. Got to love that! After that we went to Red Lobster for dinner. My favourite restaurant EVER. Good thing it's the birthday girl's favourite too or I might have had to be mean and make her go there even if she like another place better. I'm pushy that way. And yes, it still is all about me (see previous post).

We left early Sunday morning and had quite bad roads all the way home. They went from shitty

To shittier,

To...What the fuck are we doing on the road? And I seem to have imbedded my fingers into the dash. Damn!

Driving through Jasper, we got to see a ram just walking down the middle of the road. Not a care in the world.

Hey little buddy!

Mike got us home safe and sound and I was so glad to be able to share such a momentous birthday with my big sister. Also? I'm glad I'm not old like her.

Lets talk about me....

Because I'm a middle child and that's what I like to do. Talk. About. Me. All the time. Of course the universe revolves around me. I'm sorry if you were led to believe otherwise.

The weight loss is going okay. Not as fast as I would like, that's for sure, but I have lost about 6 or seven pounds so far (it was 8, but then we had that drunken 80's party and well....). I'm still on track to lose the 15 pounds that I want to lose by Easter. The first 15 anyway. If I look at the big picture, I just want to jab a fork in my eye, so to maintain my sanity, I have broken my goal into 3 separate mini goals. One month almost down. I walk 4km in 45 minutes every lunch hour on the days that I work, so it usually works out to 4 - 5 times per week. Then every second day I do the Biggest Loser workout. Beginner routine, that is. I have even mastered the plank! And the side plank! And the static wall squat! I'm on fire! I can't even believe I have stuck with it this long. I usually have the the willpower of a marshmallow. That would be none at all, in case you were confused. So yay me, I'm proud of myself. Although I did reach my rock bottom, so I guess there was nowhere else to go but up. 5'2" and 180 pounds is a scary place to be. I don't recommend it.

One of the side benefits of exercising that I'm discovering is that I'm in a fabulous mood lately. I didn't even realize that I was so bitchy before (don't judge me - you would be too dammit - 180 pounds, fuck!). But now that the haze of bitchiness has lifted I feel so perky and optimistic. I'm thinking that Mike and the kids are in a state of bewilderment. Is mom on drugs? Do we walk softly while still carrying a big stick? Maybe this is just lure so she can get close enough to rip our heads off. Time will tell I guess, I'm just hoping this state of happiness hangs around for awhile.

Oh yeah, I also bought a new hair straightener. I am in love. The best purchase I have made since I bought the Arbonne skin care system. It's like I just look at the thing and poof! my hair is smooth and silky. Maybe that's why my mood has been so good lately. Good hair = good mood. Aha! I could really be on to something here. Moments that make you go hmmm.

I'll just leave you with that to ponder on for awhile...

Step into my DeLorian.....

We're heading back to 1988! Oh yeah baby. Mike and I hosted an 80's party on the weekend. So. Much. Fun. I can't even tell you. The hair was big, the shirts were large and belted and the leggings were tight. We even had lace socks with high heels and peter pan boots. You just can't get hotter than that. I mean, how can you not look hot with your hair standing a full foot off of your skull! And! Don't forget the eyeliner and the beads. We were totally authentic. We cranked up the eighties tunes and all turned back into irresponsible teenagers for the night. Oh who am I kidding? We do that every weekend. We just happened to dress up for this one. It wasn't just the girls who dressed up, although we were way hotter than the guys. We had a "Bobby" Ray Cyrus complete with a mullet wig and a dude with acid wash jeans and long luscious hair. There was also one guy who brought back the centre part and feathered back hair. I'm telling you, it was freaking hilarious. I highly recommend it. Some of the girls couldn't believe how easyily it was to remember how to get your hair so big. I leave you with a picture. Can you believe we had so much hotness in one room?

Biggest Loser - Day 2

Three words....

Owie, Owie, Owie!

Biggest Loser - Day 1

So today was my first day of the Biggest Loser exercise regime. What to say about that? Oh I know! Planks fucking suck the big one! I mean, come on! You are supposed to be face down on the floor supporting yourself with your toes and your elbows while at the same time, keeping your ass up in the air, but not too high mind. Fuck around! That is some hard shit. You are supposed to be able to hold it for 1 minute and then do it 2 more times. Ha! I'd like to meet the motherfucker that invented that exercise! I ended up doing it in 5, 10 second intervals. After I was done that, Mike was like - okay now you need to do it 2 more times. I buried him behind the shed if anyone's looking for him.

I am so out of shape! I was sweating like a trucker and that was on the BEGINNER routine! I sure hope it gets easier. The ass cramps must be worth something! ASS CRAMPS people! Fuck. *Wheeze*

Something has to be done though. I keep getting this feeling like someone is following me but when I look behind, I realize it is just my ass. It is creeping my out. I am being stalked by my own ass.

2007 Goodbye and Good Riddance

2007 wasn't what one would call a "banner year" for me. Sure I managed to quit smoking. I got a new job as well. And that is about it for the good stuff. It was a pretty lame ass year for me. In fact, I am so looking forward to 2008 I can't even tell you.

For me, 2007 will forever more be known as "The Year of the Chub". I am starting the biggest loser exersice program on January 1. What? I really,really mean it this time. As opposed to all the other times this year that I said "this is it!". I can feel the determination in my bones, not to mention my newly aquired back fat. What the fuck is up with back fat anyway? I just don't like it. At all! So here's to 2008 - Where backfat will become a thing of the past and I will discover that I have a six pack (and I don't mean of beer, either).

So wish me luck. Okay, honestly, wish my family copious amounts of patience and understanding while I make their daily life a living hell.

2008 - Just can't wait. (That's for the cheese factor)

Winter Driving Sucks Ass

I have a bit of an issue with winter driving. The main thing is, I just don't like it. Never have. I get myself in such a tizzy when I see one little snowflake fall and I know I have to drive somewhere. Yes I know that it's not that hard and experience only make you better, yada yada, yada. This will be my 21st winter driving and I still don't like it. I may have reluctant experience but I am so far from confident it is a joke.

I think my fear started when I was 16, first year with my licence. I had to drive my Dad's truck to Tisdale from Star City. It was blowing pretty good that day and when I came to the Doghide River (I think that was the name of it - it has been so many years though now - the old memory just ain't what it used to be). There used to be a cement bridge that was arched. Anyhoo, the snow had made a large drift at the beginning of the bridge and when I hit it (probably going 100 km/hr because that is what the sign told me to go, dammit!) I totally lost control and went from one side of the bridge to the other (without hitting it, mind you) and then slamming into the ditch right into someone's front yard. I put a big dent in my Dad's truck door and I was so shaken. I managed to drive the rest of the way to Tisdale with tears blurring my vision as I imagined what kind of damage my Dad would do to my ass. Thankfully he was understanding and didn't give me hell, but he did make me drive home that night - get on the horse that bucked you off and all of that. This was the only winter accident I have ever had so I'm pretty sure that this is where my fear comes from. A fear of vehicles that can actually do things you don't want them to do in the winter.

Today I was supposed to go to Terrace to a course for work. I would have had to drive by myself in a little company car. The road to Terrace has, for a large part, the Skeena River on one side of you and a rocky mountain cliff on the other. Good fucking times. I checked the road report (freezing rain with compact snow with slippery sections) and the weather report for the next 24 hours (snow, snow, snow). I had to fess up to my supervisor at work today about my "little problem" because I wanted to throw up every time I thought about having to make the drive.

Now, everyone at work knows just what a moron I am truly am. It was only a matter of time, my friends, only a matter of time. You can only suppress what a freak you are for so long before it has to come busting out.

Oh Christmas Tree (Why are you so ugly?)

Last year after I set up the Christmas Tree I swore I was going to buy a new before I ever had to put it up again. As you can see, "Old Ugly" is still around. Partly I guess because I'm lazy, partly because I have better things to spend $200 just before Christmas and partly because next year we might be in a different house and I want to make sure I get the right size for the next house. When we packed up the house to make it more clutter free we also accidentally took the box with the ornaments to the old farm house as well. So not only is my tree ugly, it is also fairly naked.

I set up the tree on Sunday. It wasn't a good day. I made The Boy go under the crawl space to get the tree because he's short and small and while I am short, small I am not. I was afraid I would get stuck and have to live in the crawl space. If that happened I wouldn't be able to go to work anymore and my family would have to bring me food and water and entertain me all the time so I wouldn't get bored.....say? what was I thinking? That sounds like a damned fine plan. Well I guess there is always next year.
I made a trip into town to buy lights, becuase I remembered that the two sets I had last year didn't quite match, and I'm a very matchy kind of girl. While I was there I bought a couple of packages of gold coloured garland and some gold coloured balls, see? matchy, matchy! Anyway, I get everything home and plug the lights in. What do you know! I accidentally bought the kind that flash at whatever sequence you desire. Groovy. Me and Girlie were enjoying the Redneck Light show, when POOF! The damed think blew up. Fuck me! Now the tree has different shades of "clear" lights and only gold balls, bows and garland. Oh! don't forget the gold angel on top. PLUS! It is a short tree. A short, gold, light challenged, ugly tree. Sigh.

Towels

I have this "thing" with towels. More specifically, how the towels are folded. They need to be folded in half, and in half again and then in threes. I don't know why this concept is so hard for some people (namely Mike) to grasp. Actually I'm pretty sure that Mike folds them wrong on purpose just so he can get out of doing that job. Whatever. The point I'm trying to make is that it is imperative that the towels in my house are folded the correct way or I start to go a leetle bit crazy. I get all jumpy and twitichy if I know that there are towels in the cupboard that are not folded right. Call me kooky, call me insane, call me Shirley. I really don't care. This is just one (okay, of many) quirks I have.

Today, Girlie learned the fine art of towel folding - and she mastered it. Cue the "Hallelujah Chorus"! She is obviously my flesh and blood. Someone other than myself can now fold the towels. Oh Happy Day! I think I'll go watch her for a little while. Sigh. My heart spilleth over.

October is Over??? What the Hell?

I can hardly grasp the concept that tomorrow will be November already. Just where did the month of October go? I know it was here, I have the monthly bills to prove it, but damned if I can remember much of it. There were of course a few choice moments that stand out. The fact that Mike DID eventually make his way home. That really made me happy. I had just about had it with dealing with all the shit that comes with him being gone. After he got home we were REALLY (and I do mean really) busy getting the house ready to list. What? Didn' t I tell you? We be a movin. To an old farm house (more on THAT later) for a bit and then, hopefully, to town. And by town, I mean Smithers. We (which usually means "I") scrubbed and polished this house until it shone. I now have to wear sunglasses when I'm at home. It's that clean. I even took a toothbrush (maybe it was Mike's and maybe it wasn't - I'll never tell) to the window sills to clean the tracks. We also took loads and loads of stuff ( and by stuff, I mean a lot of junk we don't know what to do with) to the farm house so our house would have that spacious feeling that the Realtors are always pushing. And while it is clean and clutterless, it is also a daily job just to keep it that way. I.AM.EXHAUSTED!!! I am taking a week off work in November. I was going to use it to spruce up the farm house, but frankly I think I'll just spend the whole damned week in the bathtub with an excellent book and a beer or two.

Tonight is Hallowe'en and I am thinking about my Grandpa Elmer. Today is his birthday. He would have been 87. Wow. He died 15 years ago in November. I can't believe he has been gone that long. My kids never got to meet him, and that makes me sad. He was a BIG drinker and he liked to pinch the ladies boobs - but we loved him anyway. Every year my Grandpa and Grandma would have a great big party. People would drop in and out all evening and well into the night. Grandma would make a turkey with all the fixin's as well as her famous popcorn balls, while Grandpa would hold court down in the rumpus room that usually held a couple of tables full of 10-off rummy or guts players. I loved Hallowe'en. It was a family holiday through and through. Now? Hallowe'en has lost it's shine. I sit here on the computer while Mike watches TV in another part of the house and my own kids are trick or treating with their friends in town. I get irritated when I have to run up the stairs to give out treats to a bunch of kids who can't even take the time to say thank you. But probably I am just irritated because I sit here alone during a holiday that used to mean so much. Sometimes reminiscing can really make you sad.

Disappointment Squared

Tonight I am kind of sad. Mike was supposed to come home from his hunting camp (where he has been for the past 6 weeks) on Monday. The float plane couldn't pick them up because of the bad weather. Tuesday they tried again - no luck. Wednesday they at least got the hunters out but there wasn't enough room for Mike and the guides and the float plane couldn't make another trip because of the goddamn weather. You suck, weather! (imagine me shaking my fist to the ceiling). Hopefully he will get out tomorrow because if he doesn't I might just have to cry a little bit and I don't like crying - it makes me look really ugly.

The hunters that came out were the ones that were delayed going in for four days prior to the hunt. They really got on my last nerve. I'll call them The Two Shitheads, Rat Bastard and Give Me A Fucking Break! They all missed their flights yesterday so I had to drive out to the airport to have everyone's flights rebooked. One of the Two Shitheads wife kept calling me and complaining about them not getting home. Like calling me everyday and leaving me 4000 emails and wanting to know if they will get reimbursed, etc. I don't have the patience for The Two Shitheads or their wives. Sheesh. They got back to town and then had me and our expediter running all over town for coolers and duct tape and bubble rap and hamburgers. Sigh. Now on the other hand The Two Shitheads were a piece of cake compared to Rat Bastard and Give Me A Fucking Break. I also rebooked their flights, but they didn't want to fly out tonight (whinier than a two year old), so they expected me to rearrange their flights for them, I gave them Air Canada's number and to them to Fuck Off. Not really, but I wanted to. They are scheduled to leave tomorrow morning. In a secret sick kind of way, I sort of wouldn't mind it if their flight gets fog delayed tomorrow just so I could smugly say "Should have listened to me sucka!" Really though I think I will just be glad that they are leaving town. Hell, even better - leaving the country.

Mike better get out tomorrow because the lake where the float plane has to land is going to start freezing up pretty damn soon and they are getting low on food. They have already run out of firewood. Which is not as dire as it sounds as they are in the middle of a forest, but the have been having to chop down trees to keep warm. Their cooking propane is also starting to get low - not that Mr. Great White North couldn't cook over a wood stove but propane is so much easier. I guess I should look at it as it has already been six weeks, what is another couple of days, but I'm so disappointed.

I miss him. Sniff, sniff.

Pressure Cooker

Watch out! She's gonna blow! At least that is what it feels like. I always used to love September. My parent's were farmers and September always meant excitement, hurry up and go and family dinners in the field sitting on the tailgate of the pick-up truck. I loved the whole shebang. It just didn't get any better for me. When I moved to BC I missed it so much and then when Mom and Dad sold the farm in the mid 90's I was devastated. I knew that the chances of experiencing another harvest would be slim to none. Now I know what Mom and Dad went through during that seemingly harmless month of fall - STRESS and alot of it! Not that I am a farmer or doing any kind of harvesting but since Mike is a guide outfitter and our whole livelihood depends one ONE month of the year, I can understand that probably harvest wasn't as much fun for them as it was for me.

Not only am I working full time (at a job that is sucking the ever-living joy out of me) but I am expediting for Mike. This basically means alot of running around in circles and shaking my fist at the heavens, shouting "Why? Why do you hate me?" There is just so much to worry about. Do I have the itineraries for all the clients? Who is picking them up at the airport? What if their hotel lost their reservation? Did I pick up the correct groceries (like 2 carts at a time) and get them boxed up and delivered in time? How are the clients getting to the floatplane base? What happens if their luggage gets lost? What do I do with the meat when they come out of the bush? Oh, so you shot a moose and want to take it home with you...but you don't have a cooler or any way to transport it? Lovely - let me take it home for you where I will attempt to hoist 200 pounds of meat into my freezer and then pack it all up in MY cooler so you can take some fucking meat home. Did I mention that I have to pack this heavy cooler UP some stairs and out to the truck and then HOIST it up to the tailgate - lovely sight, let me assure you. When do I need to pick up the licences government agent's? When am I going to be able to clean my house? When do I feed my children? Do I have enough liquor to get me through? All very important questions.

I've done this for five years now. I should be an old hand. Sadly, I think I get a little more panicked every year - I start hyperventilating in July just thinking about it. AND to top it all off - we are putting the house up for sale when Mike gets out of the bush. I'm seriously going to pop a vein. We are moving to an OLD farm house out in the country. I am excited about it, but the amount of work that goes into selling a house is getting me itchy. I am looking at our house with new eyes. Why don't we have laminate floor? I don't really like the stuff, but EVERYONE has laminate floor and nobody will buy our house without the godforsaken stuff. I have convinced myself of this. How about that goddamn burn on the ugly green arborite counter top (that I cleverly disguise with a butcher block cutting board). What about the hole in our bedroom door (that looks suspiciously fist shaped, but Mike - who originally bought this house with his ex wife - insists that a bed frame punched it while they were moving - whatever), what about the ugly mural in the laundry room that a previous owner painted (who in the H, E, double L paints a landscape in their god damned laundry room?). How about the fact that the whole house needs a repaint and I can so fit that into my schedule this month, never mind my budget - just so new owners can come in and REpaint it again! Never mind that the outside of the house needs washing and the yard needs some serious attention. I haven't even entertained the thought of packing up some o' my junk to make the place seem more spacious.

AND, to top it all off - I seem to be losing my hair. Fuck me. A round patch, at the front of my forehead (which may turn into a fivehead soon). There are now words. and I'm still flipping fat. Oh, yeah. Shellie and I are starting weight watchers today. Whoot! Can you feel my excitement?

On the up side, I haven't started smoking again. Which is a miracle in itself because I am so fucking close - I can't even tell you.

Fourteen Candles

This is such an old picture of The Boy. He obviously does not like his picture taken very much. This is the only picture I could find of him by himself. I can't believe he turned 14 today. My God! I remember 14 - vividly. YIKES.

My boy is on a fishing trip with his step-grandpa right now. I really hate not having him here to celebrate his birthday with. I am sure he is having a blast catching all of those 20 pound trout and he is doing exactly what he would want to be doing on his birthday.

I am very proud of they boy he was and the teenager he is becoming. Some days I can even glimpse the man he will become. He is an old soul with alot of compassion. He is growing up so very fast into a dependable and solid young man. I can only hope that his remaining teenage years are kind to him and that he can look back on that time with affection and joy. He is very bright and quite sensitive. I know there will be broken hearts and unrealized dreams along his path and I hope they don't wear down his spirit.

He holds a special place in my heart. He was the baby that made me a mother and he is the child that I get to experience all of the "firsts" with (as well as make all my mistakes on). I hope the coming year will bring him everything he hoped for. I love you booger!

Happy 12th Birthday My Girl

Girlie turned twelve today. I can't quit explain the way this makes me feel.

The first feeling that comes to mind is old. She's my baby, and she is twelve. I will don't ever plan on having more kids so I really cherish all the milestones that she hits. The first twelve years went so very fast, I know now that the next 6 will speed by equally as fast and before I know it she will be on her own. I am really trying to take everything in and commit it all to memory. She is at such a fun age right now.

The second feeling is pride. She is good girl. She is kind and considerate. She is respectful of her parents and (I hope) her teachers, too. She is helpful when I ask her to do something for me. She is eager to please but definitely has a stubborn streak (don't know WHERE she gets that from!). She likes her room messy and her food without onions. She is witty and fun to be around. She gets my jokes and can crack me up on a regular basis. She is quirky and gjggly. I love being her Mom.

Too bad that she had to spend the one day of the year that is her's to have to get braces on. I'm sure she will thank me for this VERY expensive present when she turns 18 or so. Happy Birthday my girl! I love you.